Experiencing surgical menopause, especially for women under 45, can be particularly challenging and often brings a host of immediate and long-term consequences that extend far beyond the physical symptoms and health risks. The emotional and psychological impact can be profoundly difficult for women in a variety of life circumstances. Be patient with yourself, allowing time to process and adjust to these significant changes. Acknowledging and accepting your emotions is a crucial step in navigating the complex journey of surgical menopause.
Loss of Fertility
The removal of both ovaries results in immediate and irreversible infertility. For many, this can be one of the most painful aspects of the experience – particularly when surgery occurs at a younger age, or before they’ve had the opportunity to consider or complete their family plans.
For those who have not had the chance to become mothers, the sudden loss of fertility can evoke deep, complicated grief. This loss is not just about biology; it’s also about dreams, identity, and a life narrative that may now feel incomplete or disrupted. Some may mourn the children they will never have, the parenting role they’ll never experience, or the absence of a connection to future generations.
Others may grieve the loss of the possibility to have more children – especially if they imagined expanding their families. Even individuals who were not actively planning to have children may still feel a sense of mourning over the sudden and premature end of their reproductive years. Fertility is often closely tied to ideas of youth, vitality, womanhood, and future potential – and its abrupt loss can leave a profound emotional impact.
This kind of grief is sometimes invisible or unrecognised – what’s called disenfranchised grief. Because society often doesn’t fully acknowledge the emotional weight of infertility (particularly in cases where there was no current desire for children), individuals may feel isolated or invalidated in their pain.
You are not alone in this experience. Many people find comfort and solidarity through online and in-person communities of others living without children due to medical or circumstantial reasons. These groups often use terms like Childless Not by Choice (CNBC) or Childless by Circumstance. They can provide a safe, understanding space to process this loss and begin to reshape your sense of self and future.
Changes in Body Image & Identity
The physical alterations that accompany surgical procedures leading to surgical menopause – such as the presence of scars, changes in body shape, or limitations in mobility or energy – can lead to a sense of loss regarding our previous self-image. Some may struggle to redefine their identity in light of these alterations. This process can be especially difficult for those experiencing surgical menopause, as it often marks a significant transition in both physical and emotional health.
The abrupt hormonal changes that come with surgical menopause can exacerbate feelings of insecurity, anxiety, and confusion about one’s identity. Surgical menopause can be a life-changing experience, often filled with emotional turmoil and physical discomfort.
Recognising the need for support is essential; connecting with healthcare professionals, support groups, or counselling services can provide a safe space to express our feelings and learn coping strategies.
The journey of developing a healthy body image and a positive sense of identity often requires a shift in focus, from the body’s appearance to an appreciation of its function, strength, resilience, and adaptability. This perspective can be liberating, as it allows us to value our bodies for more than just aesthetics. Engaging in activities that promote body awareness – such as mindfulness practices, yoga, or physical therapy – can help us reconnect with our bodies and foster a sense of empowerment.
Finding Support & Coping Strategies
Coping with the challenges of surgical menopause can feel overwhelming, especially when the change is sudden or medically complex. But with the right support and treatment, it’s possible to adapt – and even thrive – in this new phase of life.
Support Networks
Support from friends, whānau, and community groups plays a vital role in this process. Sharing experiences with others who’ve faced similar challenges can offer validation, encouragement, and practical advice. Peer support – such as our private NZ-based group – can be a powerful reminder that you’re not alone.
Professional & Mental Health Support
Healthcare providers who specialise in menopause management can offer expert guidance on symptom relief, hormone treatment options, and lifestyle modifications that improve overall wellbeing. You can browse our directory to find providers who may be able to help.
Mental health professionals can support you in navigating emotional challenges such as anxiety, mood shifts, body image changes, or identity transitions. Some people also experience trauma responses triggered by medical events—especially when care has been distressing or disempowering.
In these cases, therapies like EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) can be helpful for processing and healing from difficult experiences. You can find a qualified therapist via the EMDRNZ website.
If cost is a concern, you may be eligible for funded counselling through the Primary Mental Health Intervention Service (PRIMHIS) initiative. This often provides access to up to six free sessions, available via your GP. Social services or health improvement practitioners may also be able to help with life changes linked to your health and wellbeing. If you have private insurance or the financial means, you might also consider accessing a private practitioner in your area.
Condition-Specific Support
If your surgery is related to a specific health condition – such as endometriosis, cancer, genetic risk, or other chronic conditions – you may be able to access additional support through your treatment team or relevant organisations. For example, oncology departments and the Cancer Society often provide practical assistance and counselling for those undergoing cancer-related care. Similarly, condition-specific organisations may offer tailored resources, peer support, or advocacy. You can explore a list of these in our Online Resources section.
Holistic & Self-Care Approaches
Mind–body practices such as mindfulness, yoga, gentle movement, journaling, or simply spending time in nature can offer grounding and clarity. Building your own self-care toolkit – whatever that looks like for you – can help foster a sense of control and self-trust. Try tracking your symptoms, noting what helps, and advocating for the care you need.
You Deserve Support
Healing takes time. It’s okay to have hard days. Be kind to yourself through the process. Reaching out for support – whether to professionals, peers, or whānau – is a strength. You don’t have to do this alone.
References
Pearce G, Thøgersen-Ntoumani C, Duda JL, McKenna J. Changing Bodies: Experiences of Women Who Have Undergone a Surgically Induced Menopause. Qualitative Health Research. 2014;24(6):738-748.
[Updated: 21 July 2025]
Surgical Menopause New Zealand Trust 